ROMANTIC LOVE – Broken Down as I see it.

What’s love? Merely a four letter word? Is it just another feeling that the heart emanates? Or simply a way to describe the butterflies in your stomach?
I think love is much, much more.
If I were to define love like one defines terms in a physics book, I would say that love is a complicated myriad of actions, emotions and thoughts conglomerated into one giant force that drives you through absolutely anything.
If I were to define love like a mathematical formula, I’d say that love is what you get when you add honesty to feelings & understanding, subtract doubt and selfishness, multiply it by attachment and empathy and then equate it.
If I were to define love as a chemical or biological process, I’d say that love is the after effect of dopamine on your brain and the rest of your body. The result of a successful search for a mate for the continuation of your kind, if you may.
But,

 if I were to define love in terms of literature, I’d say that love is the rush of warm blood to your limbs and the cold sensation that spreads all over your skin. It is probably the smile on your face in the lowest of moments, and the light at a distance in the darkest of nights. Maybe, it is the hope that thrives in your heart even when everything is finished and destroyed.
Love is more than just something that would fit into a sentence or two. It is more than the persistent infatuation towards that one special person who is everything you ever dreamt of. It is more than making out in the dark on a rainy evening. It is more than the most elaborate of notions about it, and yet is found in the smallest of things.
Maybe love is fumbling and mixing up words when you see them pass by. Maybe love is the scarlet tint on your cheeks when they catch your eye. It might just be the speeding up of your heartbeat when the smell of their cologne hits you, or when their skin accidentally brushes against yours.
Love is when they make you laugh, but have the power to bring you to tears. Love is when they hate romantic comedies, but watch them with you anyway. Love is you resting on their lap, as they watch a football match which holds the power to put you to sleep. Love is having similar hobbies and spending time doing those things together. Love is also having different interests and doing them for each other.
Love means to not be ashamed of them, to be proud to introduce them as yours. Love means staying up even when your eyes burn from the lack of sleep, just because they want to talk. Love is letting them sleep when they need to, even if you’re dying to talk to them. Love means basking in the sun, holding hands, as you take in each other’s aura. Love means pillow fighting and tickling each other as if you were kids.
Love is what it means to be their shoulder to cry on. Love is when you look past the flaws; love is when their imperfections don’t even matter. You know it is love when despite everything that might be wrong with them, you see them as the epitome of sheer perfection. They’ll be fucking beautiful to you, and unmatched, irreplaceable. Because love is real, love is not a scripted reality show. Love is that poem your thoughts bring into existence when you’re with them; it is when every song makes you think about them.
Love is all those times when you’ll fight with them and not even want to see their face. Love is what will still make you wonder if they had their dinner, even amidst the arguments. Love means sometimes wanting to push them off a cliff, but being there to catch them when they fall off. Love is realizing that it can’t always be a smooth road. Love means to know that there will be downs; it is what makes you survive them together. Love means to understand that it does not work like the movies, that it is not a fantasy book. Love is that road which will romanticize everything and still keep you grounded if you get it right.
Love will bring passion, lust and hunger. You’ll crave every speck of their body. You’ll need to see them, hear their voice. And sometimes, the intensity will diffuse. But love will still remain. Love is all those times when you won’t mind doing their dirty laundry, or wiping their running nose. Love means being there for them, when they need you, and even when they don’t. Love means the comfort and security that they bring; love is the trust you gift them.
Love is the decision to stay when things get rough. Love is the firm resolution to NOT throw away what you have when things hit rock bottom. Love is the will to hold on and fix what needs repair.
Love is sunshine on a cloudy day, and the cool drizzle amidst the scorching sun. Love is the fragrance that adds the perfect aroma to your being; it is the rainbow to all your thunderstorms, the spring to your autumn, the silver lining to your dark clouds.
Love is being each other’s best friend. Love is being goofy together and embracing each other’s weirdness. Love is eating like a monster in front of them; love is not caring what you look like on your worst days. And yet, love is when you want to dress up for them, look good for them. Love is when you find happiness in cooking their favorite meal, or sharing your food.
Love is so complicated, and yet so damn simple.

Love is the comfort of permanence and the security of faithfulness.

Love is heartbreak followed by apologies and kisses.

Love is finding the right person and adoring them to no end, like there’s no tomorrow.

Love is everything that I’ve felt and everything that I intend to feel, which made me capable of writing this.

Love is the person that came to your mind and never left as you read this.
Love is much more than just a four letter word; love is all of this and beyond.

🙂

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To my favorite Tinder match,

You came into my life suddenly. We had never met each other before, nor have we till now. The overhyped dating app on my phone did its thing and you popped up on my screen.

It must have been fate, because you were on a train to a far off city, and had I been a little late, the distance would have prevented us from showing up on each other’s smartphones.

‘You have a new match’, said the app. Wasn’t my first match, wasn’t my last either. I thought you were an okay looking guy, having done some research as well. It wasn’t an out of the ordinary situation for me.

But then you sent me the opening texts about how you had good as well as bad news for me!

I demanded the bad news first, and you replied saying that you were a smoker, followed by the line that you were a doctor. This was cleverly done in reference to the fact that I’m very much into doctors and despise smoking!

And that’s when you had my attention. There were other men I was talking to, sure. But none had me as hooked as you did. I wasn’t waiting for any of their texts, but I was waiting for yours! That simple but charming way of talking that you possessed had gotten to me.

Before I knew it, I was slowly getting drawn in to you. In a short span of time, I was developing a crush on you, and for all the right reasons. And I just want to tell you how amazing I think you are.

Starting with your texts. You should probably hold classes on how to talk to people. If you’re not a conversational wizard, then I don’t know who is! You should definitely teach people how to hold a conversation like a pro.

The age difference is alluring! Your maturity is so attractive. The way you arrange your words is nothing short of a work of art. You make me nervous. Getting to know from people how you are a really nice guy didn’t really help the attraction either. And not to forget, you love dogs!

A skilled, learned man – there’s just so much you could teach me! Deep, very deep (I did take a look at your Facebook). Well mannered and humble. The perfect person (maybe, probably) to balance out my insanity and sass. A contrast to the crazy in me. And yet, in line with my hobbies and likes. We could have worked together on a sketch on some sunny afternoon someday. Maybe! Maybe you’d talk about science and I’d listen in awe. Maybe you could spin another web of words and I would get enthralled again, like I do every time!

With time I realized that, to me, you were skewing towards handsome on the scale of looks as well.

I like your sideburns and your perfect nose with the subtle bump on its bridge. The goatee looked better on you and I’m glad you’re getting it back! The curly hair looks better a little grown out, and I like your hands and how you, ever so fondly, hold your camera with them. That ring on your left hand which you probably no longer wear couldn’t possibly look better anywhere else. Those inward facing teeth are really cute on you. Yes, I noticed that ‘almost dimple’ on your left cheek, and the mole on the same. How your eyebrows thin out on the outer end of the arches, how you looked so good in your graduation photos. I noticed it all! 

And this was only through pictures!

When I look for a guy, I seek a guy for the long run. Hence, I look for permanence and I look through a practical eye. You fit almost perfectly into the mould I had created in my heart and mind, falling in line with almost every standard I had set in my personal dating sphere. You felt like the kind of guy I could proudly bring home and show my parents.

But you are at a point in life where you’re busy – dead busy. We used to talk at night, and the conversations dwindled. Maybe your interest in me had decreased, maybe you were actually very busy or maybe that was just how you functioned. But communication became a problem. How could I ever move forward with you when I could barely reach out to you?
Now I’ve met the wrong guys at the right time. That hurt but I later realized that it was for the best. But now, I feel like life has thrown the right guy at me, but at the wrong time. And it brings such a bittersweet pain when I have to accept this and let go.

With me hell bent on NOT chasing, you busy in your own life; with the hundreds of miles in between, literally and figuratively, you planning to move out of the country for a while, it seemed like we met at the absolute worst time. We share interests and have our contrasts as well. You are similar, yet different from me. It could have been magic, but the timing is bad – so bad! And that breaks my heart.

Even though we have no memories for me to grieve over, the possibilities that the right timing could have brought hurt like a bitch! I feel bad and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it now. The thought of being so close to finding what you’ve always wanted and then suddenly being pulled away from it sucks.

Maybe we’ll meet someday, maybe we won’t. Maybe you’ll take those photos of me that you had said you would (after you arrive late, supposedly) and I’ll return the favor with a photo you actually like! I really wish to hear your voice on the phone someday. I do wonder, at times, what you sound like. It’d be nice to get you to quit smoking someday, even though I think you don’t look bad when you take drags off of that stupid poison stick.

To be honest, I was a little offended by your unavailability at first. But I understand now, and I’m sorry I didn’t get it earlier! You’re busy with work and studies. And besides, as I have come to realize, you’re a free bird. And I’d hate to cage you down. But I still hope that we keep in touch; and maybe getting used to your abruptness won’t be that bad after all! You’re different, not like the average person you’d come across randomly. You’re the kind of person one must keep, and I look forward to making a new friend.

I wish we knew each other better. Maybe we will, very slowly, over infrequent conversations (I am definitely okay with them)! But so far, I think you’re such a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you. I wish you all the luck in life, and it would make me very happy if you accomplish whatever it is that you want to.

Take care.

Don’t bite the dust. Stay in touch. 🙂

Lots of love, a girl who is hopelessly crushing on you.

P.S. You nail panjabis.

Don’t Leave Yet

I love you.

I love the touches I am yet to feel,

The kisses that never grazed my skin.

I love you.

I love the embrace I haven’t succumbed to,

Your smile that makes me weak in the knees.
Loving you was never a task,

It was the rush of warm blood to my cheeks.

It was the joy your voice brought,

It was the tears I cried when you weren’t with me.

What scares you, darling?

My adoration doesn’t come with a price;

Let me break down your walls,

Let me listen as you open up slowly!
Don’t leave.

It’s too early to cut off the cords,

You’ve seen only a fragment of my insanity.

Don’t leave yet,

There are still undiscovered secrets,

There are still a million stories!
You feel like home to me,

You cannot just walk away like this.

Your breath is like music to my ears,

I can’t let you go without a first kiss.

Tell me your deepest secrets,

Let me know your biggest fears.

Tell me your woes, let me wipe your tears,

I’ll be right here baby, I’ll always be right here.

To hold you in my arms is a heartfelt wish,

I wish you’d just let me in.

I want to be with you every step of the way,

Look at the flame within!
Come here.

Let me do away with these shackles,

Let me unchain your heart.

Come here.

Let me love you harder than ever,

Don’t be afraid of a new start.
Oh, how I love the little things about you,

Your hair, how your shoulder is adorned by that ink.

Every little tidbit of your angelic face,

Every speck of your entire being.

You’re not in this alone,

I’ll hold your hand till the very end.

My devotion has many faces.

I’ll be your partner, your support, your friend.

Tell me all your dreams,

Listen to all of mine.

I’ll love you when you’re broken,

Like I loved you all this time.
I’ll wait for our eyes to meet again.

I’ll wait to see you walk by swiftly.

I can’t afford to let you go,

My love, don’t take yourself away from me.

Letters From Her (An excerpt)

Here is a snippet from my latest work. Hope you like it. Please leave feedback 😀

She was gone.
Her phone was switched off. Her whatsapp was deactivated. No texts, no calls. There was no sign of her for the last eight days. EIGHT DAYS, and that was huge for Riya. She couldn’t go a day without talking to me. And now here we were, where she had suddenly stopped talking to me more than a week ago without any explanation, and there was still no sign of her.
I was not worried about something happening to her, because if that was the case, I would have known. My relatives are related to her, although she and I aren’t related. So, that came as a relief, but what bothered me the most was the one question that hadn’t left my mind for the last week.
What was up with her?
Everything was completely normal. We didn’t have a fight or disagreement of any sort, so why did she disappear? As if the long distance factor wasn’t enough, our relationship was a huge secret and nobody in our families knew. So I couldn’t even inquire about her.
I sat on my chair, twirling the pages of my book, unable to concentrate. All I could think about was her. No, I wasn’t in love with her. Neither was she in love with me. But we cared about each other; we enjoyed each other’s company. On the phone, that is. A sudden ring of my doorbell hushed me out of my daydream, and I unwillingly got up to get it.
When I opened the door, I saw nobody there. I rolled my eyes and was about to shut the door, when my eyes fell on the little black package at my doorstep. I picked it up and my heartbeat accelerated at the sight of her name across the package. I shut the door and hurried inside, unable to wait to get a sign of her whereabouts after a whole week!
As I ripped apart the paper, another small package unhid itself and left me puzzled for a moment. I wasn’t sure what to expect. There was something written on the little package that made my imagination run wild. Did it contain a message for me? Or did it have clues about her disappearance? What do you know? They were just three words.
‘Letters From Her’.

Heartbreak… Ouch!

We have all been there at some point in life, or will definitely suffer from one in the future. Unless one is an emotionally numb robot, that is.
Today, I want to pour my heart out on this topic.
I never knew how it felt to have your heart broken by somebody until recently. And now that I know, it feels downright horrible.
Like you’ve been struck by lightening.
Like somebody just plunged a dagger into your chest.
Like all your happiness is being sucked out of you in one swift motion.
And yet, with every broken piece of your tampered heart, you still want them to come back to you. No matter what they do, you don’t hate them, you don’t get angry. All you feel is pain.
Why doesn’t he like me?
What should I do to make him fall for me?
And the worst part – Acceptance.
Day in and day out, they’re all that’s on your mind. YOU JUST CAN’T LET GO.
It’s really, really hard.
Your friends will tell you – “Move on!”, “He’s not worth it.”
But you’ll hold on to every shard of your broken hope in the anticipation that maybe they’ll still look back and hold your hand..
(Just a heartfelt little note).

Best Friends Forever!

When one fine day you finally realize who your truest and closest buddy is, you know they’ll always be there for you 🙂 In girl world, they are often considered as sisters ❤ And if you have one of these, you must know you’re very very lucky!

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So for my second post here, I decided to do a little compilation about best friends which most of us can relate to!

1. You can talk to them about anything. ANYTHING.
Because they’ll never judge you! You can share all your problems and they’ll keep coming up with solutions or try to make you feel better!

2. You send each other screenshots of conversations with your crush/boyfriend.
Yes, we do that. 😂 Sorry men, we can’t help it. When you’re talking to a girl, you’re indirectly talking to her best friend.

3. You can have loads of laughter out of a totally meaningless conversation.
And even talk about it later. And laugh some more.

4. Their opinion matters a lot to you.
Because you know they’ll always say what’s best for you.

5. Your favorite pastime is bitching about certain people.
And even when you don’t really have a problem with them, you still do it to make your bestie happy!

6. When you share your problems with them, a load lifts off your chest!
Because they solve them in a matter of seconds!

7. You can’t wait to show them a picture of your newest dress, or those shoes you just bought!

8. You gush about hot celebrities day in and day out.
Because it’s fun!

9. They’re the first person you rant to when he doesn’t text you back.
Was I being too clingy?
Should I have waited longer?
Does he think I’m ugly?
Does he hattteee meeeeee? 😭😭

10. It’s not weird even if you call/text them in the odd hours of the night.
(When all the earthly creatures in your half of the world are fast asleep.)

11. You know weird and censored secrets about each other.
And still don’t care.

12. They’ve seen your ugliest and weirdest selfies and you’ve seen theirs.
And threatened each other not to leak them out.

13. You guys got your own cool lingo.
And no, others don’t need to know.
We’re too cool for the world. Yo.

14. You talk about and eagerly wait for the day when you can attend each other’s weddings!
I’ll wear a pink gown.
And I’ll gift you the cutest teddy bears ever!

15. They’ll always be there for you, and youknow you will be too. :):)
Because some people are impossible to let go ❤